


River

by Denrhea



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, Injury, M/M, Victor's a fixer, poor communication, rough patch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:26:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denrhea/pseuds/Denrhea
Summary: Yuuri is recovering from a devastating skating injury and Victor is trying to make things better but not listening to Yuuri's needs.  (What?  These two have communication issues?)*inspired by the Christmas song in the title
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 25
Kudos: 95





	River

**Author's Note:**

> Melancholy day leads to melancholy stories. It's short. Not tied to any of my previous titles. Quick write.

* * *

[ River ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94cnRwZvYU8)

_It's coming on Christmas,_

_They're cutting down trees._

_Putting up reindeer_

_Singing songs of joy and peace,_

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

Yuuri wiped away his tears. They rarely fought but sometimes when they did, it made Yuuri want to run, bringing back that need to hide. He was hiding now. At his side, his new dog Ren lay down, keeping watch over him. The chocolate brown standard poodle was trained to keep an eye on Yuuri. He’d been reluctant to accept her but then again, he wasn’t responding well to his anxiety meds.

He knew Victor would be looking everywhere for him. He had to be frantic. He recalled the many times that his sister had gone looking for him as a child. She would find him and he’d run into the safety of her arms. Even if they fought, when she found him, he knew she was his safe place. Everything would be okay.

He crouched in the corner at the end of the alley. The city was unfamiliar. _I miss home._ That was a loose term. It could mean St. Petersburg and the home he shared with Victor. It may have meant Detroit where he studied and practiced. But right now, he wanted Hasetsu and his mother.

Victor brought them here for his sake. Specialists to work on his injury. The fall early in the season had taken him out for the rest of the year. There had been talk of knee replacement surgery. He’d also received a head injury. It was the first time he fell and didn’t get back up. He remembered the look on Victor’s face as they pulled him from the ice. He felt his partner’s fear. He knew it was bad even with the shock setting in.

_But it don't snow here,_

_Stays pretty green._

_I'm gonna make a lot of money_

_Gonna quit this crazy scene._

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

Victor knew they would need money. Yuuri’s sponsor funds only went so far and his anxiety caused him to shy away from some of the jobs Victor would take. So he set up several jobs in Paris while Yuuri was going through therapy. He was busy. Transporting Yuuri to therapy. Making photoshoots. Interviews.

The interviews were the worst. Yuuri was involved in the interviews and he shrunk away from them. But they paid and helped to mitigate the medical bills. It added to the tension already in the air.

Victor tried to communicate to Yuuri about their expenses. He was shocked when he learned Yuuri had let his coach manage his money. To Yuuri, it was one more stressor. He learned Celestino would work with Yuuri’s family and develop a budget. It was beyond a coach’s purview. Victor had always handled his own finances.

As he looked at the neatly lined up numbers, he tapped the eraser on the table. Sometimes he needed to write it on paper to get a better idea of the numbers. With Yuuri, he couldn’t afford an impulsive purchase. With Yuuri, there were anxiety meds…and later an anxiety dog. With Yuuri, there were therapy appointments. With Yuuri…life couldn’t be frivolous. Victor didn’t have the same income.

And he needed more money and the older man was never afraid to work. Victor had taken more jobs, leaving Yuuri alone more. And that was what broke them. 

_I wish I had a river so long,_

_I would teach my feet to fly._

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

_I made my baby cry._

Victor walked down the streets near their modest apartment. He felt frantic. Yuuri couldn’t speak French. Yuuri knew how to disappear. If he shut down…Victor trembled at the thought of someone hurting Yuuri. He began calling out his partner’s name. “Yuuri, are you down there? I’m sorry…please come out. Please come home to me.”

_He tried hard to help me,_

_He put me at ease._

_He loved me so naughty,_

_made me weak in the knees._

_Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

Yuuri huddled in his corner, lost in his head. _How many times has he tried to reach out to me? I leaned on him. I knew he’d take care of me. He…made me bold. Made me open up…like I couldn’t open up to anyone else._

_I'm so hard to handle,_

_I'm selfish and I'm sad._

_Now I've gone and lost the best baby_

_That I've ever had._

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate…_

_He tries to involve me in everything…even though it’s hard to process. I knew he’ll patiently explain it but I can’t deal._ His eyes focused on the white flakes floating from the sky. _Oh, it’s snowing._ He didn’t move, just staring at the white feathery flakes dropping from the sky.

“Yuuri! It’s getting colder. Come home…let me take care of you.”

_That’s what he would say. It almost feels real. Victor shouldn’t come looking for me, though. I’m too hard to handle._

Ren barked, jumping up from her protective post between Yuuri and the rest of the world.

“Yuuri?” A shadow filled the alley.

Yuuri blinked towards him. _Victor. He’s here_. “V-v-victor?”

_It's coming on Christmas,_

_They're cutting down trees._

_Putting up reindeer_

_Singing songs of joy and peace,_

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

Victor’s heart leapt at the sound of the familiar bark. _Thank god I invested in that dog!_ “Yuuri?” His heart cried out for joy at the tiny voice that answered. He found his partner curled up in the corner of the alley, so tiny and small. Victor quickly shed his coat, wrapping it around his Yuuri. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go home.”

Yuuri shook his head, tugging on his hair. His anxiety was still up and he was unsettled. “We’re not home. We’re here.”

With a deep sigh, Victor knelt before him and asked quietly, “Where do you want to be?”

Given all of the choices in the world, all of the places he’s called home, there was only one that would make things right. “Can we go back to Russia?”

Victor didn't expect that and he started making mental calculations. “I-I don’t know if I can make enough.”

“Why can’t you take that coaching position? The one Yakov offered you.”

“But I’m _your_ coach.” _I don't want to give up on you._

Yuuri dropped his chin. Communication had always been their greatest hurdle. “I’m…not happy. I don’t know these people, they don’t know me. We can’t even speak the same language. It may be a great facility but…mentally, I can’t be where I need to be. I want to go home.”

Victor listened, studying the younger man before him. “I’ll have to travel.”

“You’re not here much anyway. At least in Russia, there are others. I have friends. Here…I have no one.”

Victor thinned his lips, tilting his head uncertainly. “I don’t know if the offer is still open.”

“At least try. That’s all I ask.” Brown eyes pleaded with him.

Victor nodded. What else could he do? “Okay. I’ll call Yakov when we get home.” He helped Yuuri to his feet and felt the younger man leaning on him. “You’re hurting,” he fussed.

“It’s cold out here. I have metal pieces inside me.”

“I wish…”

Yuuri grunted. “I know…but I think we need to consider the possibility I won’t return to the ice. At least not anytime soon.”

Yuuri limped after Victor, the older man taking the bulk of his weight. As they cleared the alley, Victor waved down a cab. It wasn’t far to their Paris apartment but he didn’t want to put Yuuri through that journey. He needed to get him inside and warm.

Yuuri sat before the fire in their apartment. It had taken a month to get home but it was almost Christmas in Russia and he was home. Victor was working with Yakov and would be traveling to EC and Worlds with the veteran coach. It would be surreal but Yuuri already felt more together.

Mila came back into the living room and sat next to him, handing him a warm mug of chocolate. “So, what’s your next steps?”

“Couples counseling so that we communicate better and therapy to help me move forward. I didn’t get to leave the ice on my own terms and I think I’ve built up resentment because of that.”

“And Vitya?”

“He’s learning to ask for help…and to tell me when he doesn’t have all of the answers. I think…he thought he had to be the solution.”

“SuperV. We all know this. He tries to have all of the answers…and covers when he doesn’t. He’ll drive himself to the point of exhaustion.”

“I never saw him in Paris except when he was taking me to appointments. It was all so expensive. And it didn’t have to be. He just…made the decision that was where we needed to be then tried to take away all of the obstacles.”

“Which is sometimes impossible.”

“Yep.”

“So…what are you plans since they’ve pretty much said you’re done with the ice?”

“I’ve been talking with Lilia. I am going to work with her to help with choreography. If we are both working, I’m not sitting alone feeling depressed and anxious. It will be better for my mental health.”

“I’m glad it worked out in the end.”

“It’s a work in progress…but we’re both trying to make it work. That’s what’s important.”

“Yuuri, I’m home!”

Ren barked and ran up to greet him and not far behind, Yuuri stepped out, cane in hand. The cold was hard on him but he could take it because he was home. He entered the circle of Victor’s arms. Leaning into his embrace, he wrapped his free arm around his partner. “I’m glad.”

“We have Yakov and Lilia’s tonight for Christmas.”

“I know. I made a vegetable tray.” He hesitated for a moment before he asked, “Can we just curl up together until we go? I need your touch.”

Victor smiled softly down at the younger man. “Of course.”

Their roles seemed to have reversed, Yuuri needing the assurance of touch to be able to move forward some days. But he was getting better.

_It's coming on Christmas,_

_They're cutting down trees._

_Putting up reindeer_

_Singing songs of joy and peace,_

_Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think?


End file.
